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Get Involved
You can make a difference. Whether it is by breaking the silence by openly discussing domestic violence, supporting and assisting a family member, friend or work colleague who is in an abusive relationship or by promoting healthy and respectful relationships in the home and workplace.
Domestic violence affects one in five women. The biggest perpetrator is silence.
Let's break the silence. Let's talk about it. Together, let's be AWARE.
What Can I Do?
Recognise, Respond and Refer
Family and friends are the most important first line of help when a person is struggling to deal with an abusive relationship. As a friend you can make an important difference to the ability and willingness of your friend to seek help. By adopting the three “R”s you can help and support a friend in need.
Recognise
Recognise the signs that someone may be suffering from domestic violence.
These may include:
- Regularly absent from work
- Wears inappropriate clothing
- Experiences frequent physical injuries
- Exhibits emotional distress
- Cries easily and exhibits mood swings
- Is often distracted and not attentive
- Appears obsessed with time
- Receives frequent personal phone calls
- Seems tired and sleep deprived
Respond
You might approach by asking questions that demonstrate your concern for their wellbeing. It could be as simple as “Is everything ok? Can I help in any way?". Encourage, but do not pressure them to discuss the abuse. Respect their privacy and maintain confidentiality. Do not break their trust. Believe their story and listen without making judgments. Acknowledge their fears and take their concerns seriously. Let them know that they are not alone, not at fault and do not deserve to be treated in an abusive manner. Do not tell them what to do or offer to speak to their partner. Don’t tell them to work harder within the relationship or stay because of the children. Give them time to make their own decisions.
Refer
Provide them with information on where they can access help.
Healthy Relationships
A healthy relationship is one based on mutual respect, equality, trust and support. You can promote healthy and respectful relationships both in the home, workplace and in your social life by recognising the fundamentals of equality. Remember, conflict itself is not always
negative. However, a 'fair fight' can never take place if the relationship is not built on mutual respect and one partner is fearful of the other.
Elements of an Equal Relationship
- Mutual Trust
- Shared decision making
- Shared responsibility
- Economic partnership
- Support for each others individual
endeavours
- Open communication
- Negotiation and Fairness
- Honesty
- Non threatening behaviour
Traits of a Healthy Family
The healthy family....
- communicates and listens
- affirms and supports one another
- teaches respect for others
- develops a sense of trust
- has a sense of play and humor.
- exhibits a sense of shared responsibility
- teaches a sense of right and wrong.
- has a strong sense of family in which
rituals and traditions abound
- has a balance of interaction among members
- has a shared sense of values
- respects the privacy of one another
- values service to others
- fosters honest conversation
- shares leisure time
- admits and seeks help with problems
Thank You to the Corporate Alliance Against Domestic Violence for the Traits of a Healthy Family. You can visit their website at www.caepv.org
Domestic Violence is Everybody’s Business
Domestic violence destroys a person's sense of safety and has profound personal effects that spill over into the workplace in a number of ways. It has been estimated the domestic violence costs Australian businesses in excess of $1 billion dollars.
The Economic Costs of Domestic Violence
People who live with violence or fear in their personal lives are affected in their work performance as their confidence, self-esteem, and their ability to perform at their best are all compromised. As a result, the person's productivity, customer service and attendance are affected and have wider impacts on staff turnover, absenteeism and the wellbeing of co-workers. Equally, some employees who use abuse in their domestic relationships may use workplace time and resources to do so which also impacts productivity, workplace relationships and the organisational environment.
What can a workplace do?
- Acknowledge that domestic violence is a workplace issue
- Display posters in communal areas and distribute domestic violence literature and support service details in places where employees can access them anonymously
- Implement a Domestic Violence workplace policy and make it clear to all employees that the organisation is committed to a no tolerance policy on domestic violence.
- Educate employees on domestic violence with guest speakers. Teach employees how to recognise the signs of abuse.
- Ensure that the workplace is safe and secure. (eg. adequate lighting in the carpark. secure entry)
Be Aware
Information and education is key to raising awareness on domestic violence. If you want to learn more, you may find the
following resources useful.
Website Links
Articles and information on domestic violence
www.austdvclearinghouse.unsw.edu.au
Family Life: Melbourne based community organisation
www.familylife.com.au
Resource centre for information about domestic violence and sexual assault
www.dvirc.org.au
Bursting the Bubble: website for teenagers living with family violence
www.burstingthebubble.com
Whats Up: help for young New Zealanders.
www.whatsup.co.nz
Corporate Alliance Against Domestic Violence
www.caepv.org
Liz Claiborne: American company dedicated to eliminating domestic violence
www.loveisnotabuse.com
Books
The JoyLuck Club Amy Tan
The Colour Purple Alice Walker
I, Tina Tina Turner
Black and Blue Anna Quindlen
Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe Fannie Flagg
The Woman Who Walked Into Doors Roddy Doyle
Videos
Sleeping with the Enemy
Fried Green Tomatoes
What's Love Got To Do With It
Bhaji on the Beach
Once Were Warriors
Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood